I definitely had experience with the following steps:
4--Fast commitment: We were engaged after a very short period of dating. Everything was great and once I said yes to his proposal, it all went downhill.
5--Blame: OMG, XH could not keep a job to save his life! In the span of our relationship (6.5 years), he had at least 6 jobs. His bosses were micro-managing him, his co-workers were idiots, he wasn't making enough money, etc.
7--Rapid mood changes: XH was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression issues before I met him. He never really found the right mix of meds, so he turned to alcohol and drugs to self-medicate. I never knew if I was dealing with "happy" H or "BSC" H.
8--Threats: As our relationship worsened, I was still trying to "save" our marriage, However any suggestion I made (i.e. me taking control of the finances) was seen as threatening so he would retaliate with, "Let's get a divorce, it's obviously what you want." I have to LOL at that because it does seem he had a moment of clarity and sanity. Too bad I was so wrapped up in "saving" us that I couldn't see it for myself.
9--Male Superiority: He always had the better ideas. We did what he wanted, went on trips he wanted to take. If I wanted him to come with me to a function, I pretty much had to drag him there.
10--Sexual and Verbal Abuse: XH would stay up late, drink, and then come to bed after I had fallen asleep. He always wanted to have sex or "cuddle" so tight that it was suffocating. As the relationship declined and XH got crazier, the verbal abuse got worse when he had his breakdowns.
11--Financial Dependence: I felt so guilty about having a separate checking account (where I was trying to save up money to fully fund my roth IRA each year) but most of my paycheck went into our joint checking. He would use my money to pay the bills and there would be nothing left to cover food, clothes, entertainment so we charged it. And because he was between jobs so much, I put him on my insurance. He was always going to the doctor, getting meds, etc. My moment of clarity came when I realized the marriage was rapidly declining and I needed to prepare for my exit. I opened a separate checking/savings account and made little deposits whenever I could.
12--Cruelty towards pets/children: We never had kids and I thank God for that. I saw how he treated our cats (loved them one minute, abused them the next) and realized I didn't want to live with him anymore. I got the cats as part of the divorce settlement and he tried to hold that over me while we were settling other matters. It was like he was saying, "Well, you took them away from me, so now I'm going to be a d!ck about every little thing we have to finish like selling our house and splitting bills.