Rejoined Weight Watchers

I had my first chiropractor appointment on Wednesday and I was told to stop working out at Curves while undergoing treatment. How frustrating! One one hand, I was so excited to get started working out and losing weight. On the other hand, I probably should have waited before starting an exercise program--especially one I have to pay for. I'm hoping I can go to Curves tomorrow, show them my doctor's note, and suspend my membership.

The topic of my weight and blood pressure issues also came up at this first chiropractor session. The doctor was going on about how his mom and sister lost "lots" of weight on Jenny Craig. This got me thinking. If the only exercising he wants me doing is walking, then I'm going to need something more to keep me on track. So I'm going back to Weight Watchers. I joined WW in August 2005 and lost 40 pounds. I went from a size 18 to 12. I looked great and ever since I've been trying to get back on the wagon. Now that I don't have any ex-husband issues standing in my way, it's really time to focus on me. I rejoined last night and have been tracking my food intake as well as learning more about their "Points Plus" program. I've tried other free sites before, but there's something about the "pay to lose" part that really helped me.

One of the suggestions that Weight Watchers (and any diet program) makes is to clean out the refrigerator and pantry and then restock them with healthy foods. I did that today and I ended up making my kitchen more organized. To the right of the kitchen sink, I have upper and lower cabinets. Originally, I had mixing bowls, spices, tupperware, and other miscellaneous items in the upper cabinets and the food stuffs in the lower cabinets. This was not a good arrangement. I couldn't clearly see what I had for food.

Tonight I decided to reorganize my cabinets. First, I tossed any expired items as well as random tupperware (tomorrow I'm going to get new tupperware that keeps the lids and bowls together). Next, I decided how I was going to organize the 3 shelves of the upper cabinets. As you can see from the picture, the top shelf has spices, baking supplies, and drink mixes. The second shelf has items that I'll most likely use in cooking (i.e. pasta sauce, mayo, soups, rice). The last shelf has my "grab and go" items such as popcorn, cereal bars, and other snacks. It feels good to know what I have in my pantry. I'm hoping that this will help me make better eating decisions.

Another suggestion most diet and exercise programs make is to take before, during, and after pictures. I've done' this in the past, but I hate the cell phone-pic-with-half-of-me-in-the-bathroom-mirror look. So, I worked up the courage and asked my boyfriend to take some pics for me. He was nice enough to oblige and I'm not going to post them...yet. Once I start making progress (i.e. losing a size), I'll post the before and during pics together.

2011: Getting Pumped Up!

The past year and a half has been a challenge, but look at all I've accomplished:
1. Got out of an abusive and destructive marriage
2. Did a short sale on my house
3. Divorced
4. Moved in to my own place
5. Survived a near death car accident
6. Started a relationship with an amazing man <3

I'm very excited that 2011 will give me a chance to move on from the bad and move on with the good in my life. Now that I don't have a long list of things I have to do in front of me (i.e. sell house, divorce husband), I can focus on the things that I want to do! This is somewhat of a strange idea for me. For the longest time it seems I've had to approach life as one big laundry list of things to do, but now I can approach it differently. Here are some things I've been thinking about (in no particular order):

1. Keep working out at Curves and eating healthy. I want to be fit and healthy as well as look and feel great.
2. Curb my eating out and shopping. Those trips to the gas station or drive-thru really do add up. Not only will I save money that I can put towards something else, I'll be helping my waistline as well.
3. Fully fund my IRA. I think the maximum contribution limit this year is $5000 and I want to contribute that much. I haven't contributed to it for the past few years because of what I've had to go through, and it's time to get back on track with that. I should have no problem getting to that amount by April.
4. Start saving for a house down payment. I'm never doing 0 down again! I also plan on being more informed this time around when looking and buying a home. I'm going to know exactly what I'm getting myself into.

Four goals for 2011. I think that's a manageable number. I also think this blog will be a good place to write about them and share my progress. It's going to be a wonderful year!

Beating the Holiday Blues: Have a Plan

Last Christmas I was separated from husband. The Christmas before that, he was in a psychiatric hospital for an emotional breakdown. All my plans of what I'd do over the holidays went out the window. I felt lost, confused, depressed, and alone. I wallowed in my misery for a little bit, but I decided there was no reason why I couldn't do the things I had planned on doing. Yes, it was difficult but I was still able to enjoy the holidays with friends and family without overdoing it. I was able to retreat when I needed to and I loved it. I think the Christmas of 2008 is when I read all the Twilight series :) Having a game plan for things to do over the holidays helped me get up and go when I felt like it.

So what am I doing this Christmas? Here's my list:
1. Christmas Eve dinner at home: lasagna, salad, and wine
2. Christmas Eve service at church
3. Probably watch movies and chill out Christmas Eve afterwards
4. Christmas morning: open presents, breakfast, bake pie to take to my parents
5. Christmas afternoon: lunch and present opening at my parents

I'm lucky enough to be enjoying all of this with my boyfriend this year. However, I'd still be doing things alone if I wasn't with someone. Merry Christmas everyone!

Beating the Holiday Blues: Experience the Wonder of the Season

Ok, so how does one "experience wonder"? I think at Christmas time it's very easy to get swept up in the whole mood of the season. Everyone seems to be a little more open, loving, and gentler towards to their fellow man. When those walls are brought down, good things tend to happen and we're able to acknowledge them. Yesterday, I helped a woman at Kinko's send a fax. I stayed with her through the whole process and we had a nice conversation as we waited for the fax to be sent. That's not something I'd typically do, but I enjoyed that moment of plain and honest human connection.

Today I happened to experience "the wonders of the season" with my students. I knew that I would most likely receive presents from a few of them. I just didn't know who. Lo and behold, one of my most exasperating students gave me a tupperware container of homemade pretzel/chocolate/m&m thingies. Sooo yummy! Sure, his mom probably forced him to give them out to all his teachers, but it's the thought that counts!

Finally (and this is the real inspiration for this post), today I became financially free of my ex husband!!! I never thought I'd see this day come. Maybe this is how and when it was supposed to end, but I'd like to think it's a Christmas miracle! Our mortgage company took our offer of $10,000 instead of holding out for more money from us and has settled our debt. I'm just in awe of the whole thing. God has seen me through every aspect of this ordeal and has turned this situation into a blessing.

So, there is hope and wonder to be found this season. Just be open to it and when it comes in (most likely, unexpectedly), savor it!

Beating the Holiday Blues: Expectations are Premeditated Resentments?

I used to obsess over making the holidays perfect. Christmas cards were sent out by the end of the first week of December, the house was decorated over Thanksgiving weekend, and the presents were wrapped and put under the tree on Christmas Eve.

Who was I doing it for? Why was I doing it? What did I get out of it?

I was on a mission to prove to my family, in-laws, friends, and neighbors that my life was progressing beautifully and that I had it together. However, that was the biggest lie! My life wasn't perfect; in fact, the walls were crumbling down around me so fast I didn't know what to do. In the end, I was exhausted. No one came around and admired my decorating or cooking skills. XH got drunk, crashed into the Christmas tree, and was then later hospitalized for an emotional breakdown. And I ended up more upset and more alone than I had ever been.

See, I had this screwed up notion in my head that if I did all these things then the holidays would be perfect and everything would be wonderful--just the way it's supposed to be! Of course, the exact opposite happened and I ended up having major resentments towards anyone and everything in my path.

This holiday season, I'm going to take it one moment at a time and enjoy it all. I want to be happy. I want to have fun. I want to have that "warm holiday glow" (whatever that "really" is). However, I can't force any of that to happen. It just will.

Beating the Holiday Blues: Put yourself in the mood!

The holidays can be festive and wonderful, but for anyone who is going through a difficult time in December, this time of year can be unbearable. Last year, I was separated from my husband and everywhere I looked was a reminder of a life I wasn't going to have. I blame Facebook. Most of my friends on Facebook are from high school and college and they're married, with 1-2 kids, and in perfect houses. Seeing their status updates about great their holidays were was one thing, seeing pictures was so difficult! I should have just stayed away from Facebook, but I like to torture myself. Haha.

This year things are a little different and I have a lot to be thankful for (divorced, seeing a wonderful guy, house debt paid off, have my own place, great friends), so why am I battling the holiday blues? I'm just reflecting on the past year, how much has happened, and thinking to myself how much time I wasted/how stupid I was to spend it with my ex. I'm so irritated that my life has gotten "off track" and I feel like I'm playing catch up. However, I can't let those thoughts get to me. I have to take each day as it comes and enjoy it for what it is.

I want to dedicate this week's blog posts to beating the holiday blues. I think the first step is to put oneself in the mood. My apartment is decorated, but I haven't stepped back to appreciate it. Today when I got home from the grocery store, I turned on the lights, lit some candles (love the Almond Cookie and Sparkling Vanilla scents from Yankee Candle), and cranked up some Christmas carols. Later on, I plan on wrapping some presents and enjoying some sweets while watching a Christmas movie. I love White Christmas, but watched that last weekend. I'm thinking the George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol unless I find something better on TV.

I hope this series of posts will help you or someone you know. A word of caution about getting into the holiday spirit--there is too much of a good thing. I just had to turn off the Christmas music because it was getting to be too much. I was either going to break down and cry or throw something at the TV--2 things I don't want to happen! However, I'm still happy and enjoying the moment minus the Christmas tunes.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post: Expectations are Pre-meditated Resentments.

There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays!

I had zero motivation to decorate for the holidays. Usually I put up the Christmas decorations during Thanksgiving weekend, but I was out car shopping. Honestly, I put it off for awhile because the thought of dragging out the boxes and bringing up all those memories of a life I don't have anymore, depressed the heck out of me. I started small with my knick knacks before dragging out the tree.
Here's a picture of the liquor cabinet decor. A small gold Christmas tree, Yankee Candle, nativity set, hurricane vase with red and gold ball ornaments, and Christmas cards. It's a lot going on for such a small space, but I have to work with what I got!This "Let It Snow" snowmen trio sits to the left of the liquor cabinet. I bought it at Walgreens a few years ago and the cool feature of this piece is that it has scarecrows on the back for fall decor.

Originally I thought this garland was going to look silly (I tried to hand a lighted leaf garland in the same place for fall...TACKY). I think the mistletoe ball hanging in the middle nicely finishes this area.
I love this PEACE sign. It's another drugstore bargain and it fills out this wall beautifully.

The china hutch is always my favorite furniture piece to decorate. I kept it simple: 2 snowflake ornaments hanging off the doors, 2 Glade holiday scented candles, a hand-painted Santa's sleigh with pinecones, a hand-painted Christmas tree, and a snowmen couple figurine.

Here's a close up of the snowflakes, my Dollar Store bargains, that I have hanging on the hutch and also off the lamps throughout the apartment.

Finally, the Christmas tree--complete with one of my cats, Braley, butting in for some camera time. Please ignore the hideous vertical blinds in the background--one of the joys of apartment living. I'm so happy with how the tree turned out this year. I didn't obsess over where every ornament should be placed. I just put the ornaments up and I'm loving the haphazard, full look of the tree. Now I just need some presents to put under the tree, but for right now, my cats are happy to have a new place to nap.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Disaster Breeds Hope

Well I don't have to worry about that dent in the right side of my car anymore. On November 18, I was driving home from school when the driver of a GMC Sierra truck passed out (he had 3 hours of sleep and was taking meds for his PTSD), hit my car, and then crashed into a Jeep SUV in front of me. My car is totaled and I had to go to the ER, get X-rayed, and get medication.

I tried to get as much rest as I could (I was even ordered to be on bed rest for 3 days by my doctor). However that proved difficult. Getting the rental car, dealing with the guy's insurance company, car shopping, writing up substitute lesson plans, and dealing with the ex-husband were all on my "to do" list.

Somehow, everything worked out. I have awesome co-workers and they took care of my work stuff, I got a check for $10k for my car, and I found a new-to-me car that I love! Once I got that check, I was excited to go car shopping but XH first had to sign some papers with me to allow the insurance company to pay off the rest of the car loan. That meant XH found out how much $$$ I was getting from this car accident. Long story short, we're going to try to use the settlement money to pay off the loan on our house we had to short sale. If the mortgage company accepts our offer, this will end the last connection I have with the XH. Please pray that this works out!

So how did I get my "new-to-me" car if I'm using the insurance pay out for the mortgage? I applied for a car loan and was APPROVED. Now the APR is crazy, but the payment is affordable and paying on it each month will help rebuild my credit. I'm so happy that financially speaking, things are coming together and I'm moving on with my life!